i was talking to one of my students on msn last night about a bunch of random stuff and outta the blue, we were on the topic of dating/marriage.

and then she said something to the effect, "you have to get married before 30 or else".  i told her that it was okay because most guys were getting married in their mid 30's these days and i had plenty of time left.

she didn't buy it and said something else like "come on, you're 27 and that's gonna suck to still be in school and not married by 30."

i genuinely laughed it off, as i corrected her that i was in fact 26, and not 27.

but today it dawned on me. in five months i'll actually be 27. and even as i just typed that number right now, it looks like a huge number. my freakin' parents got married at that age and i'm still single, broke, in school, not making enough money, etc.

and now i find myself asking, "what the heck is a 26/27 year old doing on xanga?"

i mean, is it okay for me to be on this thing? when i go through other ppl's blogs, they're blogging about things i used to do. have i turned into that guy; the guy who's clearly too old for the crowd he's hanging with?

okay that's not my main point.

my main point is that i feel more and more 'behind' in life, as if there's a set schedule that we all need to be on.

i guess more than ever, i need to trust god that he knows the plans he has for me and that they're plans for good, and not for disaster. to give me a future and a hope.

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my friend lisar, studying hard....30 minutes into our study session @ the library.

i feel like life's just going in circles these days.

i'm craving, anticipating for something big, something exciting to come, but it's never coming, is it?